The other day I mentioned Kickstarter on my twitter. It was a sort of throw-away thought – a perhaps I would need to do it. It seems like a good plan, right? Do a project, get some money to finish it off. But then it hit me.

On Kickstarter, you need a video.

No way am I putting a video of me on the internet! I don’t want the internet to know what I look or sound like. Of course, as suggested by the music video production firm, there are other ways of making a video, but my first reaction was one of my gut sinking. I am not happy with how I look, and I don’t want to toss that to the wolves of the internet.

Objectification is about more than being reduced to your looks. It’s a fear that limits the way women dress and what women say. It’s losing your humanity and autonomy. It’s the pervasive cultural message that women are just pretty things there for the taking, which is one of the reasons men rape. It’s characters on a videogame box having breasts but no eyes.

You might as well be made of plastic.

This is why I find it hard to know what to make of #objectify (link) as a day of some lighthearted comments about men’s looks will not generate the same kind of anxiety women have. Keeping it nice means it’ll never turn sour, as it does for women. Smile nicely, or things will get worse.

Of course, I have no suggestion on solving things.

As for Kickstarter, I’ll probably make a video of my dog.

13 Responses to “Objectification”

  • Thumbs up to dog video!

  • I had more or less the same thoughts – men who receive innocuous compliments will most likely be surprised and pleased, and that could just reinforce the idea that women make a big fuss about nothing.

  • I think you’ve at least solved the Kickstarter issue! Your dog is SUPER cute.

    …Whoops, did I just objectify your dog?

  • Hello Bentosmile,
    I read this post several times and you know, I think you shouldn’t take it this way.

    Yes, people judge other people’s appearance. But it is true for everyone, not just men judging women.
    Yes, men rape. The only reason women aren’t known as rapers is because their physical strength is generally weaker than men. Also laws don’t consider a woman sexually forcing a man as raping. And lies and stuffs.

    My point is, you have the right to fear judgement from others, but thinking only women are the only ones judged as “pretty things” isn’t right.
    And also, try not to be too anxious, it’s bad for health.

    But yes, make a video of your dog. Sounds like a good idea.

    Please continue to… umm… be alive? And happy, mostly.

    Some random supporter,
    Rey D.

  • Bento: I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. I had an idea that may help you if you haven’t already produced your video though. Maybe make some art similar to the style in your game to show on the screen instead of your dog? That might excite people about your work. Although, if this is already produced, dogs are good too. Either way, good luck on your kickstarter. I love your games!

    Rey D: until you’ve experienced how society treats women firsthand, don’t assume it’s the same for everyone. As someone who has spent years of their life read as a woman and years of their life read as a man by society (gender is a funny thing like that- growing your hair out can make quite a difference on an androgynous body), I’ll tell you that people on the streets are much different to women. People who would be friendly to me when I presented masculine would comment on my body or proposition me for sex when I presented feminine. As for your assertion that most rapists are men because they are stronger, most survivors knew their rapists previous to the assault and thus likely had their guard down making this a moot point. And the “lies and stuffs” argument doesn’t cut it because most women who are assaulted never press charges because they. are. scared. Most rapists are men because as Bento stated, men treat women as objects. Trust her. As a man you have the benefit of being able to go through life unaware of how bad women have it.

  • Aaah I’m sorry, I really should have posted some sort of warning on that last comment under the section towards Rey. I’m sorry. I just got angry and wasn’t thinking. Wish I could edit it now.

  • and yet men are four time more likely to kill themselves up until their thirties and when they are sixty they are thirteen times more likely to commit suicide also men are ninety percent of the homeless,in the us a man has to register for the draft to get a car license and to be able to vote,but no one cares about these things,what matters is to vilify men for their tendency to like young attractive women.

  • @supermandc

    I don’t recall giving an opinion on any of those issues. You would probably be surprised what they are, if you had waited to hear them!

  • @supermandc

    Actually, I figure I might as well write my opinions. :D

    1. I am not a fan of the military, and such believe that no one should be forced to join it. War is a shameful waste of life. I’m against any sort of national service.

    2. When I had the means I used to regularly donate to a homeless charity. When choosing one it was important to me that it used the donations to actually get people off the streets (as opposed to helping people who were technically homeless, but weren’t sleeping rough). The charity I chose also helped homeless people with mental health problems.

    3. Access to mental health services is a problem for all. (My own suicidality probability? 10-20 times average) I don’t mind giving my time to anyone I see who is suicidal, either by talking to them or encouraging them to start seeking help, because it’s a long road. I’ve had childhood friends lose their fathers to suicide, or to illnesses like schizophrenia, so I’m aware of how bad it gets.

    Objectification is not about looking at attractive women. It’s about seeing another person as an object and not a human being. We are all humans, and we all deserve our humanity.

  • My, some comments appeared.

    @Fenris: I don’t see anything wrong with your reply to my comment. It’s not baseless, I was indeed quite unaware of how badly women could be treated in society.
    Between the time I posted the comment and now, I read a big article which would more or less showcase some awful behaviors and comment on them, and a few small stuffs here and there, so even though I’m still not fully aware of how badly it is, I got quite a preview and has a much bigger understanding of bentosmile’s fear.

    My comment back then wasn’t the most informed one, so I apologize for whoever felt angry, offended or whatever about it.

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